Gastro and The Perfect Housewife

The kitchen and I have had a disagreement! We're not on speaking terms at the moment....


Well, technically it's not the kitchens fault, it's a conspiracy between the weather and my A/C but I feel the kitchen is being belligerent so hence the tension!

Anyhow, now that I can confidently eat all the yummy bakiness without pre arranging a trip to the emergency room the heat is probably a blessing. I might not be able to restrain myself and I’ll eat myself into a cake induced coma….

Come to think of it though, I don’t think I could cook even if I wanted to at the moment.

You see, I no longer know where to find anything in my own kitchen.

It’s been violated.

My mother came to stay….

Last week Blue, Rusty and I came down with the worst case of gastro we’ve ever had. You know the kind I mean, where you’re laying on the floor of the bathroom hoping to pass out…

So my parents kindly dropped what they were doing and drove the 2.5hrs to come and nurse us all…

Which was fantastic, don’t know what we would have done without them. But, it also meant that my mother had three uninterrupted, unsupervised days in which to completely rearrange my house, to suit herself!

You see my mother is the perfect 1950’s housewife. She still irons creases in jeans, irons sheets and underwear and tea towels.

She cleans her toilet daily and I don’t mean she swishes some bleach around she scrubs each surface by hand and I am pretty sure I could apply makeup in her shower screen; because she cleans it then Windex’s it….

I, on the other hand am pretty sure I still own an iron – but when I last used it...Oh, I don’t know about 3 years ago. I don’t think I emptied the water out of it so it’s probably a big rusty mess.

I am currently interviewing cleaning products to get through the soap scum on my shower screen – I’m also interviewing maids/nannies so I can actually get a moment to clean said shower screen.

But you know what truly sets her apart from other housewives…..

She loves doing it!

I think I’m adopted because I can easily think of 15 things I would rather be doing than cleaning my shower or rearranging my pantry, linen cupboard, underneath my sink, my fridge and also my bake wear cupboard.

I can’t find ANYTHING!!!!

I knew I had to do something when Rusty walked into our kitchen to see Mum washing the floor for the third time that day on her hands and knees with a Chux because “a mop just doesn’t do the job right…..”

If I haven’t already filled you in, Rusty is a bit of a neat freak. Probably wouldn’t notice if there was a small alien colony in the sink but leave your book on the arm of the couch and you’ll hear him sigh a mile away.

He stopped and considered the situation for a moment, then turned and looked at me with that quizzical look guys get when they are confused about something…

It was a look that clearly said “If your mum is like this….what happened to you????”

You see, I believe mops do a fantastic job. Floors really only need to be mopped every couple of days unless there is a spill and yes, sometimes things go in the microwave uncovered.

I’m not perfect….there I said it!

So while I’m absolutely sooooooo thankful to Mum for coming to help out she went home just in the nick of time – I’m pretty sure I saw Rusty googling Good Housekeeping last night.

Some things just won’t do!

Thanks for stopping by!

Hugs

Dee xoxoxox

New Years Eve 2009

I understand if you're cranky with me.....
It's been a while I know! But I promise I haven't just forgotten you.
I'm sad because I had so many exciting things planned to share with you over the Christmas entertaining period, but unfortunately I ended up having surgery to remove my dicky gall bladder instead.
On the upside I actually get to eat the yummy stuff I bake but everything's suffered for a while!
I spent Christmas recovering and just taking it easy. Well as much as you can with a little one anyways.
So I was sitting here sweltering at 7am, after being up most of the night because it was too hot to sleep and I got to thinking about the fact that it's New Years Eve, the last day of 2009.

It's been an absolutely amazing year.
We had our awe inspiring little boy (who is now 10 months old - when on earth did that happen???), we moved from our home of 3 years into somewhere a little more family friendly, I began Not a 1950's Housewife and met all you wonderful people, I decided to return to tertiary study next year (because after all I don't already have enough on my plate), I had surgery to remove my gall bladder a couple of weeks ago.

All in all it's been a pretty amazing year.

I'm not usually one for New Year's Resolutions but I think for 2010 I'm aiming to try and keep on top of the dishes, be able to spend more time here with you guys and get my head around formal study after 10 years away.

What about you?
What's happened this year that has been important or momentous in your life?
Do you have any New Year's Resolutions that are worthy of mention, Cause we'd love to know!

Have a fantastic New Year's Eve and I'll see you next year.

Thanks for stopping by.

Hugs
Dee
xoxox

Devils Food Cupcakes

My goodness....I can't believe it's been nearly a whole month since I've posted.

It hasn't been intentional, things have been beyond hectic here lately. But boy have I missed you guys.

We've had a case of Murphy's Law here, where everything mechanical that can break down did.

Family illness and of course, more teething!

To top it all off we've also been experiencing the hottest November in history.
Normally, it doesn't really heat up here in Melbourne until December but after a whole week of 33c plus, summer is definately here.

So, you would be forgiven for thinking that I was insane to decide to bake Devils Food Cupcakes this afternoon.
A/C + Oven probably isn't the smartest combination but I was having withdrawals.
Almost a whole month without creaming something just can't be done!

If you've been in the shops lately (ok since October) you'll probably be noticing that it's all about Christmas now, so I figured if you can't beat em, join em and I decided to make these one's Christmas themed.
But I didn't really have any Chrissy Deco's in the cupboard so had to settle with lime green and fucshia ...heheheheh.

Unfortunately, the one thing I didn't count on was the heat melting my icing just as fast as I could pipe it out onto my little chocolate babies.
Oh well, they'll still taste good!

I'll be back soon I promise. So many things to tell you. So little time!


Devils' Food Cupcakes
Taken from my hand scribbled recipe folder....really must remember to note source next time!

1/2 cup cocoa
1 1/2 cup plain flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 cup caster sugar
2 large eggs (room temp)
1/2 cup milk (room temp)
110g butter softened

Preheat oven to 180c

Sift Dry ingredients together in large bowl and set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer cream butter and sugar for 2-3 mins or until light and fluffy.
Add eggs one at a time beating well after each addition.
On low speed mix in half dry ingredients and the milk. Mix until just combined.
Add remained of dry ingredients and mix until well combined.
Be careful not to overbeat the mixture or it will become tough.
Spoon mixture into cupcake papers and bake for 18-20 mins or until a skewer inserted comes out clean.

I chose to pipe with a simple buttercream which you can find here.

I hope you enjoy them.

Thanks for stopping by.
Hugs
Dee

Very Vanilla Cupcakes

I didn't get to do any baking this weekend as we were out and about for most of it.

So today I started to suffer from withdrawals and decided to bake my favourite vanilla cupcakes.

Sometimes, even though there are a whole heap of luscious, decadent cake recipes out there, you just need the pure, unadulterated innocence that is vanilla.

Normally, I don't bake things that have more than one step to them if Rusty isn't home to entertain the little guy. But today I decided to have a crack at it.

It all started out well....until it came time to fill the cupcake papers with batter. Right about that time Blue decided he wasn't happy with this baking caper and made sure I knew about it.

Undeterred, I strapped him into his Ergo and off we went to distribute all the silky batter between our 24 cucpake papers.

About 5 in, my little man decided that he just wasn't gonna take it anymore and wriggled his little heart out....batter went everywhere and my plans for perfect, beautifully decorated cupcakes went out the window.....

I'm crushed!
I had plans to make these little bites of vanillary perfection stunning, to wow you with my decorating prowess.

Unfortunately, I had to hastily pipe the icing on with an 8 month old on one hip and piping bag in the other.
Not the most elegant look but they are still yummy!

Very Vanilla Cupcakes w/ Vanilla Buttercream Icing
Adapted from The Crabapple Bakery Cupcake Cookbook By Jennifer Graham.

You'll Need...

- 2 3/4 cups plain flour
- 2 teaspoons baking powder
- 200g softened unsalted butter
- 1 3/4 cups castor sugar
- 4 eggs at room temperature
- 1 1/4 tablespoon vanilla extract
- 1 cup full fat milk at room temperature

Then you...

- Preheat your oven to 170c. Line 2 x 24 hole muffin tins with cupcake papers.
- Sift together flour & baking powder. Set aside.
- In the bowl of an electric mixer cream butter for 2 mins. Add caster sugar a third at a time, beating for 1-2 mins after each addition until the mixture is almost white in colour and the sugar has almost dissolved.
- Add eggs one at a time beating until the mixture is light and fluffy after each addition.
- Add vanilla and beat until combined.
- Add a third of the flour to the creamed mixture and mix on low speed until well combined. Pour in half the room temperature milk and beat until just combined.
-Repeat this process finishing with the remaining third of the flour.
- Do not overbeat as this will toughen the mixture.

Spoon mixture into cupcake papers, filling about 3/4 full. Bake for 18-20 mins then turn out onto wire cake racks to cool completely before icing.

Vanilla Buttercream Frosting

- 200g softened unsalted butter
- 1/2 cup milk

- 1 tablespoon vanilla extract

- 8 cups icing sugar (yep you read right....8 cups)

- Cream the butter until light and fluffy.
- Add the milk, vanilla extract and 4 cups of your sifted icing sugar,
- Beat for 3-4 mins or until mixture is light and fluffy.
- Add the remaining 4 cups of icing sugar and beat until the mixture is smooth and of a spreadable consistency.

- Add any colouring or flavouring you wish and beat until you reach the requied colour or flavour.

Easy Peasy Pavlova

After chatting with a couple of friends recently, I've been really surprised at how many people are too scared to  make pavlova from scratch, opting instread to buy a ready made one from the supermarket.

If you'd ever had a homemade pavlova you honestly can't compare the taste and texture to the ones you buy in a box.

Yeah they're quicker but a hell of a lot more expensive and they just don't have any wow factor to them!

A good pav is sooooo easy to make as well if you know some of the tricks....

= Cook a pav in a slow oven without the fan on if you can. Always allow your pav to cool in a switched off oven with the door just slightly ajar until it is completely cold.

= Use room temperature egg whites and make sure the bowl your using is completely clean or they won't stiffen.

= Add your sugar in a steady stream while beating. Don't just dump it in.

And thats it. Top your pavlova with whipped cream and seasonal fruit and your all set!


You'll need...

- 6 egg whites (room temperature)
- 1 1/2 cup caster sugar
- Pinch Cream of Tartar

Then you...

- Preheat oven to 120c or 100c if using a fan forced oven.
- Line a pizza tray or baking sheet with baking paper and mark a 23cm circle*
- Beat egg whites in a clean bowl until stiff peaks form.
- Add caster sugar in a steady stream and beat for 10 mins or until sugar has dissolved and mixture is glossy and stiff.
- Add cream of tartar and beat a further 1 minute.
- Bake 1 hour until firm. Turn off oven and allow to cool with oven door slightly ajar until completely cold.

- Just before serving top with whipped cream, pureed rasperries or assorted seasonal fruit.

* Don't fill circle right to the edges as pavlova will spread just a little.

Thanks for stopping by
Hugs
Dee

Short Skirts, Knee High Boots & Jodie B

I grew up in a small country town.
The sort of place that is too big to be quaint and too small to be of any real interest.

Kind of stuck in the middle with very few redeeming qualities from either side. It really is one of those places you pass on the way to somewhere greater.
Unless of course, your into roses. In which case, settle in, take a load off and walk through the award winning rose gardens.
Huh? No, I'm not being sarcastic.
Where I grew up really does have rose gardens, it's the only thing that even allows our litle backwater to make it into any of the tourist handbooks.
They're fantastic and the scene of many important events in my life.
Seeing the bottom of my first bottle of bourbon and the time that....Oh, Hi Mum...Rose gardens? What rose gardens?

I got side tracked again. Sorry!
Like I was saying....

There are a few things you should probably understand about living in a small town if you've never had the pleasure...

1. Everyone knows everyone else.
2. Everyone has an opinion on everyone else - whether grounded in reality or fiction and will most likely have no compunction with sharing said opinion.
3. Never let the truth get in the way of a good gossip.

In my young, impressionable mind our town seemed to be broken into three main female social groups. Nothing like youth for a truly black & white view on things...

The Matrons - Older, upper middle class women who wore pearls, Diana Ferrari flats and were never seen out in public without a full face of makeup. They were on the school, art gallery, council board and just generally stuck their nose in everywhere and everything.

The Mothers - Middle class women who wore trackpants and runners just about everywhere. Very rarely wore makeup and generally look like they are on the way to the footy, gym or to play tennis. Are normally involved in the netball/basketball/ footy club and for some bizarre reason short hair or perms featured heavily.
Every now and then, they may break out their jeans....but only on special occasions and never with heels.

Bronx Warriors - A different social group entirely. Separated from the rest of the town by the freeway, none of the above rules applied.

There is one factor that all three groups have in common. They all snipe about each other!

As an adolescent growing up in this environment it scared the jeepers out of me - because I didn't want to be like any of these women. But there didn't seem to be much else to choose from.....

That is until I met Jodie Brilliant, the complete antithesis of them all.
She wore short skirts, knee high boots and makeup - while pushing her babies' pram down the street.
Jodie always looked funky and fresh and made me realise that you can still be sexy and you even when you are a wife and mother.
She was responsible for the purchase of a short, tartan skirt (and the following world war 3 with my mother) in my teen years because, you guessed it, she used to wear one.

I wonder if I can lay the blame for my shoe obsession there too? What do you think? Doable?

So imagine my suprise and excitement when we crossed paths again - thanks to social networking and the lovely land of Facebook.
I have to admit, I was nervous.
What if this icon of my youth let me down?
What if she wasn't really as cool as I remember her?
What if she had joined ranks with The Mothers?  or ever worse The Matrons... I don't think my poor heart could take it.

Drum roll please........

Meet Jodie Brilliant.
Graphic Designer, Photographer, Artist, Sculptor. Unwitting role model & style icon.

Jodie runs one of my favourite websites Wicked Monkey. An amazing collection of her photography and art work.

I honestly am in love with her creations and I'm waiting to be able to purchase some for my home.

If I didn't have to save up to send my son to university I'd be set. But sadly, sometimes these things have to wait....That reminds me I really need to ask her about layby...

As if she is not already busy enough, working as a graphic designer, she is also creating her own lifestyle magazine, as she realised there was nothing out there  "linking home, lifestyle, arts, music, culture and people with funky, classy, witty, clever content"

I can't wait til it's ready to share with you all!

Did I mention you'll be able to find little old me there too - just in case I don't already ear bash you enough   :-)

So here is a big shout out to unwitting and unaware role models.

After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and I mean that in a strictly non Single White Female kinda way.

Oh, and thankfully, neither of us has joined ranks with The Matrons or The Mothers, although I think I rock my maternity yoga pants with the hole in the knee. Maybe I'll start a new trend.

Grunge Mummy.

Think it'll take off?

Thanks for stopping by

Hugs

Dee

10 (not so) interesting facts about little old me

So since we are still in the getting to know you stage I thought I would let you know a few little facts about .....me!

1. I'm scared of the dark!
Yep, unless it is lit up outside like a race track I will not go outside in the dark....ever!
Thanks Dad for hiding out there and jumping out at me during my childhood. It hasn't scarred me at all.

2. I have been engaged for 6 years, planned 2 weddings and I'm still unmarried. Yes, there is a story to go with it which I shall share with you soon.

3. I am the eldest child, with 8 years between my brother and I - he is only 17 and his youth scares me.
Did I think I was 10ft tall and bulletproof at 17?
Wait, don't answer that!
Incidentally, Rusty is also the eldest. Battle of wills anyone?

4. I don't like cake.
I know, it's horrifying. I think it comes from years of eating dry, crumbly cake (sorry mum) but I am trying to re-educate myself. It's a hard job having to pour over my recipes and decide which delectable morsels to bake each week. But someone has to do it I guess... 

5. I haven't eaten take-away in 8 months.
Impressed? It is less a force of will and more a fear of pain. I am waiting to get my gall bladder removed...

6. I got incredibly excited about finding pink sea salt in my local supermarket today. I understand it is pretty much the same as normal sea salt...but it's pink.
This clearly makes it superior!

7. I am absolutely addicted to The Pioneer Woman.
Ree is completely responsible for the dishes still being in the sink today. Try her Tres Leches Cake....Oh  my goodness....insert Homer drool here...

8. When I get really tired I say things backwards, sideways and upside down.
When we first started dating I was trying to explain to Rusty that I liked the movie Tango & Cash. Except it came out as Pango & Tash.....

9. For the first 5 years of my working life I worked in the construction industry spending all day with men. And we think women have temper tantrums....sheesh!

10. I love this blog.
I'm still learning and working out the direction I want to take but apart from my son and Rusty...it makes me happy. Happy is good!
I hope it makes you happy too!

Thanks for stopping by.
Hugs
Dee